Ironman Song Rider Story

I ride with a group of 15-20 guys, mostly in our 40s and 50s, on Saturday mornings and rides like the Ironman together. I and one of the others read this little poem at our carb-loading dinner the night before the ride. We thought you would find it amusing.

Of course we did the 100 miles. One of our riders made the comment on a previous Ironman in similar weather, "We paid for 100, we're riding 100."

If you remember the CB Radio Craze in the '70s, you will understand...

Convoy (adapted)

Was a miserable day a week before May
On a Bianchi feeling light
A fancy Trek Carbon with Dura Ace
And a one-speed mountain bike
We was heading for food on 68
About a mile out of Lakeville start
The rain and wind had just begun
And I’m thinking this isn’t too smart

…but we gotta little ol' convoy, as the clouds block out the light
Yeah we gotta little ol' convoy, ain't she a beautiful sight?
Come on an' join our convoy, ain't nothin' gonna git in our way
We're gonna roll this bikin' convoy, down Montgomery way
Convoy... Convoy...

By the time we got into Jordan-Town
We had twenty-five bikes in all
But there’s a long line at the food table
An' them bikers are wall to wall
Yeah them bikers 'as thick as bugs on a bumper
They even had a bike with one wheel
I sez callin' all bikers with two tires
I’m ready for a couple of beers!

Cause we gotta little ol' convoy, as the clouds block out the light
Yeah we gotta little ol' convoy, ain't she a beautiful sight?
Come on an' join our convoy, ain't nothin' gonna git in our way
We're gonna roll this bikin' convoy, down Montgomery way
Convoy... Convoy...
We skipped the turn at 21
Ain’t going through no New Prague
Lots of folks optin’ for the short 65 one
But that’s just not our way!
Well we rolled down Minnesota 59
The wind was at our tails
We took off all of our winter clothes
And turned them into sails
By the time we got into Belle Plaine Town
Eberly, late as usual, was just arriving at the start
Bob the shutterbug had taken his camera out
And Mark’s top tube was falling apart
The temp had dropped to 29
Tim in shorts was feeling fine
Well-dressed Wayne was enjoying it all
On a bike built in ‘79
John was as tough as ever
And Ben was looking gooood
Josh was working to keep up
And Rick just wanted food
Steppe was getting nervous
His wife wanted him home by one
And Greg, our Mr. Styleman
Looked great in his Ralph Lauren
Bikers we passed gave a whistle at Christy
Quite the looker
And Dan came chuffing up behind
Sounding like a pressure cooker

Cause we gotta little ol' convoy, as the clouds block out the light
Yeah we gotta little ol' convoy, ain't she a beautiful sight?
Come on an' join our convoy, ain't nothin' gonna git in our way
We're gonna roll this bikin' convoy, down Montgomery way
Convoy... Convoy...

Well we laid a strip for old Le Sueur
The rest stop was in our sight
Provaznik, he was getting tired
From polishing his new Merlin bike all night
Al Gustafson was just warming up
On his 37th Ironman don’t cha know?
And we all felt blessed that Mr. Schoo
Had simply decided to show

We left Le Sueur for Montgomery
And onto quaint Lonsdale
The route had changed from the year before
And the riders were getting pale
From Lonsdale we headed up
Into a fierce north wind
Chris, eh, from Winnipeg
Was starting to lose his grin
And as the rain turned into hail
This ride Jeff Martin didn’t miss
And we all have Steve Gleason to thank
For keeping up our contact list.

Cause we gotta little ol' convoy, as the clouds block out the light
Yeah we gotta little ol' convoy, ain't she a beautiful sight?
Come on an' join our convoy, ain't nothin' gonna git in our way
We're gonna roll this bikin' convoy, down Montgomery way
Convoy... Convoy...